Robert Brancatelli © ALL RIGHTS RESERVED 


 

I like to think of myself as funny, a comedian, a stand-up guy who does his comedy just about anywhere. My main hobby is going into the bakeries on Arthur Avenue in the Bronx and asking if the bread is fresh. Drives them crazy. I also enjoy listening to people, which is like watching paint dry except much more painful. Whenever I give blood, I am told by the Red Cross workers that I have nice veins, which I take great pride in. I'm still working on an excuse for not cooking. People seem to be genuinely insulted when I tell them I don't cook. Sometimes I make things up, but there's only so much you can do with eggplant. I don't like insincerity or craziness, but real faith is powerful. I avoid people who claim to have been abducted by aliens and want to show me their biopsy marks. Well, unless they're really attractive...